Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
