For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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