Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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