when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize