I'm eating all of the evidence.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
