Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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