Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Farmville is her only friend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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