There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
