Non-Jews are for practice
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
