You really coming over, don't trick.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
even my farts smell like vagina
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
