I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
