GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
