Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
