I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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