you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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