a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
