Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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