They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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