Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
