we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
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When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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