Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize