I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
