Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
