I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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