My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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