Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
