8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
