Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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