Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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