too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
