apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
