you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
