is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
