I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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