I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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