Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
