She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
