hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize