he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
