White coat. Heels.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dignity is for republicans.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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