I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
