do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
