There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
