Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
