Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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