you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
