Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just gargled with NyQuil
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
