you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
