Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
