your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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