Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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