Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
