Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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