I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
