everyone is single if you try hard enough
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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