I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
