how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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