I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
