She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
