I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
