Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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