took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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