Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
