She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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